How should we define modesty?
The Bible speaks to the issues. “Likewise the women are to dress in suitable apparel, with modesty and self-control. Their adornment must not be with braided hair and gold or pearls or expensive clothing, but with good deeds, as is proper for women who profess reverence for God,” (1 Tim. 2:9-10, NET). Instead of showing off our clothes or wealth, we are to distinguish ourselves by our actions.
Paul prioritizes the good of fellow believers, refraining from actions that cause them to stumble (Rom. 14:13-18; 1 Cor. 8:12-13).
I don’t have a list of what is modest. Although I agree that God must show us to some extent, I also believe that we are in danger of sinning when we let society dictate our choices. Our culture is unconcerned with sexual purity, and its standards cannot be the determining factor.
I suspect that many of us have no clue what causes our brothers to lust and need to ask for their input.
Think through these questions to see if there are wrong attitudes and motives behind the way you dress:
· Would I wear this if Jesus were present? (Which of course he is!)
· Am I trying to show off my body (pride)?
· Am I looking for acceptance (wanting to look like everyone else), attention (attempting to look better or different than everyone else), or love (trying to attract a man)? Or am I here to please God alone?
· Can I truly say that I dress to glorify God?
· Is there a chance that I will cause my brother to stumble?
Some women excuse their clothing, saying that their husbands want them to show their bodies off. Sorry, ladies. We can’t excuse our own sin as submission. We answer to God for our actions. He beautifully designed our bodies for our husbands’ enjoyment, not to be a source of their prideful competition with other men. In any situation where we refuse our husbands’ requests, we need to be biblical, honest, respectful, and prayerful.
How do you define modesty? Guys, love to hear from you!
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Thanks for bringing this up Kay. My husband really resents that women show up at church in clothes designed to drag his attention away from worship. Having a right to wear what you want and using a little common sense are not mutually exclusive.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing your husband's perspective on this issue, Jane. I have heard similar stories from other wives whose husbands have been similarly distracted, even by women on the worship team. As their sisters in Christ, we must be cognizant of areas where we put stumbling blocks before our brothers.
ReplyDeleteI love this topic! Especially because there are so many angles and perspectives to address.
ReplyDeleteI think there is responsibility as the sister in Christ and as the brother in Christ. Let's face it, there are brothers out there who will struggle REGARDLESS of what women wear. (Not all are like that.) AND there are girls/women out there who have a responsibility to also be modest.
One of my pet peeves is seeing young teenage girls (and yes, though they have bodies of women, they are still girls) come to church as if they are going to a club. What's worse is there they sit with their families, mom AND DAD during worship. WHERE IS THE FATHER'S responsibility in much of this too???
It is not a woman's fault that she is attractive. I have always said that a woman with a great body will look amazing in a burlap bag. The problem lies in that she can not be secure in Christ and MUST showcase her attractiveness.
There are also some very clueless women, and for the rest of us -- we need to take responsibility to gently inform them. There was a woman doing a skit on the drama worship team during a service and she was dressed modestly enough except for every time she leaned over the entire congregation got a up close view of her breasts! Talk about distracting!
Anyway, I also think we as women don't need to dress in a way that detracts from ourselves too. I feel as a wife I have the responsibility to look good for my husband and do trust him to tell me when I am dressed in ways that are out of line with who I am as a woman in Christ.
GREAT TOPIC!!!
Thank you for your insightful comments. I also want to look good for my husband and yet so appreciate that he has never seen me as his trophy wife, wanting me to show off my body to his buds. looking attractive and yet modest is possible, but stylish may not always work!
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