When we give our hearts away to someone else, we lose control over what happens. We risk hurt and loss because we never know how it will turn out. I’m sure all of us have loved and lost at some point; dumped by a guy, turned on by a friend, or left behind through death. The pain of loss can be great at times, and the more we love the deeper the grief. To protect ourselves from situations that may lead to hurt, we may isolate our hearts, not allowing ourselves to connect on a deep level unless we feel safe and certain. But what do we miss by allowing our fears to drive us?
My friend Jenn is losing her struggle with breast cancer. For the past year she has done all humanly possible to fight the disease and has asked God to do a miracle. For reasons that only God knows, He hasn’t given a miracle and her battle is almost over. Although she will experience the complete healing for which we prayed, it will be as she enters the presence of Jesus and not here.
In the midst of her valiant fight, God sent John.
As he read her blog, he grew to appreciate the woman whose story he read. In time they met and were eventually married on August 7th. John entered this relationship knowing about her disease and then married her with the full knowledge that the treatments weren’t working. Jenn risked loving John instead of fearing the possibility that he would leave if she got worse.I have never met John but this blog is a tribute to his courageous risk to love. What a joy he has been to Jenn these past few months! Instead of holding her at arm’s length, afraid to embrace someone whom he might lose, John pressed into love.
I am reminded of the unselfish love of Jesus, who chose to come and love the world He had made. Yet, His closest friends deserted Him in His darkest hour; His own people rejected Him; and He was ridiculed and mocked by those He came to save. But He loved anyway, to the point of dying on a cross for them and for us. Knowing that He would experience such hurt didn’t keep Him from choosing to love (1 Pet. 2:21-25).
I realize that my love is very conditional and usually quite selfish. I pray that God will give me the grace to love those who are diseased by sin, those who may hurt me and use me. In other words, I pray to look more like Jesus. What joy may I be missing because I refuse to risk?
Join me in praying for Jenn and John today, thanking God for their love that triumphed over risk. You can read more of their story at http://jennsstory.wordpress.com/
Addendum: After posting this yesterday morning, last night Jenn went into the presence of God. Please pray for John and the rest of her family.
Addendum: After posting this yesterday morning, last night Jenn went into the presence of God. Please pray for John and the rest of her family.
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I've been reading your writings faithfully and have been deeply impacted by the wisdom and encouragement that I find in each one. I know that God is using your words to ask me questions that I would rather avoid answering. Today really hit a nerve. For me, the loss was a friendship. I was blindsided by the betrayal, and it took a good two years for me to get to the point where I could honestly say that my thoughts weren't dominated by the loss. Recently, I've become aware that I've been guarding my heart from ever experiencing this kind of pain again. It's a truth that I've been reluctant to face. I've been content to pursue God, but I've been keeping people at a comfortable arm's length. Reading about about John and Jenn, who demonstrate a fullness of life and a life without fear - made me see myself more clearly...and it's not a pretty picture. Thank you for helping God speak to me and for helping me hear Him.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Irish, for being so honest with us and yourself. I pray that God will continue His work and give you peace and grace to risk friendship again.
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